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Arrow Tip #47: Live In A State Of "Being" Rather Than A State of "Doing"


Society today places a lot of emphasis on "doing". Being a goal-oriented person myself, I actually kinda like "doing" because it makes me feel good to accomplish things. And that statement right there is what I'm talking about with this Arrow Tip. Most people focus on the "doing" without paying any attention to who they are BEING. Doing without being leads to temporary results mostly because it depends on willpower, which requires a whole lot of energy. It's virtually impossible to maintain high levels of willpower to DO something long-term when your state of BEING conflicts with the goal. Decide whom you want to BE first and make that the primary focus, then you will naturally do the things that are necessary to achieve your intended outcome.


Let me give you my most recent personal example. Being in the healthcare field, fitness is important to me. I always enjoyed going to the gym and had been diligent about it. When the lock-downs started that really interrupted my normal rhythm. I continued at home in my concrete basement for a while with the two small sets of dumbbells I had...lame and not fun. As time went on and I wasn't comfortable going to the gym because of COVID. I really lost my way. Somewhere in there I pretty much stopped working out. Eventually, I would get started again on some type of exercise but then life would get in the way and I'd find that weeks had passed and I hadn't done anything. I started and stopped over and over for the past two years never completely getting back to it full-time PERMANENTLY like I used to. This was so NOT me!! Yet apparently now it was. And therein lies the problem. Over that course of time, I forgot who I was. I was trying to DO something (work out consistently) without BEING something. Temporary results. Ineffective. I had to remind myself who I am. I am a person who cares about her health. I am a person who makes fitness a priority. I am a person who wants to feel good about her body. I am a person who makes self-discipline a priority.......AND because of that, I am also a person who makes going to the gym a NON-NEGOTIABLE task. When I switched my focus from "doing" to "being", my workouts have been consistent again.


I said at the beginning of this post that I AM (state of being) a goal-orientated person. This causes me to DO certain things. BE leads to DO. That is the key to making "doing" easier.


You can use this for anything you want to change. In fact, you're already implementing it. If you're a parent then you naturally do all the tasks that a parent does...EVEN when you don't feel like it. If you're a teacher then you do the things a teacher does. If you're a tennis player then you do the things a tennis player does....and so on. No matter what habit you want to put in place to change your life for the better, first focus on the mindset of BEING that person. When you BE THE PERSON then you DO THE THING. (See Arrow Tip #11 for more help with this.)


What if we feel like we're not REALLY this person yet? I mean you don't become a teacher in one day. At first, this BEING may only be in the mind. That's ok because you're BEcoming the new version of yourself. As you study to BE a teacher you do the things a person BECOMING a teacher does. Eventually, you know you'll FULLY be a teacher but there's a process involved. In the meantime, think and feel like someone who's on that path. As you practice thinking and feeling differently the brain will rewire and mold to the new mindset making the "doing" easier. There was some moment in time that a person simply DECIDED they would BEcome a teacher....that caused them to naturally DO the things required to reach their end goal even when it might have felt difficult to do. All you have to do is DECIDE who you ARE BEING and BEcoming and stay committed to that.


 

ACTION STEPS:

  1. DECIDE what habit you want to change or goal you want to reach, then BE the person who does that thing. Even if you haven't physically become this person yet...you can still BE that person in your mind by adopting the new mindset.

  2. Once you embody this new mindset you will naturally do the things needed to maintain this state of BEING.

  3. When you're not motivated or feel yourself deviating from the desired path, remember who you said you ARE (even if it's only in the mind) and then DO THE THING that person would do....even when you don't feel like it.

  4. In time, as you truly BECOME this new version of yourself you'll see how much easier it is to do the things you desire to do.


*Remember: YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE!