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Arrow Tip #31: Stop Coming To Conclusions


In Arrow Tip #29 I told you if you want to leverage your mindset to get better results then you'll need to start asking better questions because many times we ask questions that are disempowering. Asking the right types of questions is a great way to open doors to new possibilities in your life. But many times we aren't asking ANY questions at all. Quite frequently we've already come to a conclusion about ourselves, others, or a situation. We do this when we make statements. Statements are conclusions. They're like dead ends. There's nowhere to go from a conclusive statement. Door shut.


A STATEMENT implies a RESULTANT STATE of being. It's a state of mind regarding the topic at hand. In Arrow Tip #22 we learned about the importance of choosing a better state to reside in. If you're in a desirable STATE then no problem! Nothing to change and no questions to ask. In that case, a dead-end is exactly where you want to be because you want to stay in that place mentally thus creating greater experiences. However, if you're trying to change your mindset about a particular matter then you'll need to stop coming to conclusions. You can do this by asking yourself EMPOWERING questions.


 

Listen to your conversations and you'll see what conclusions your mind has come to. Do any of these sound familiar?


~I can't help it. It's just how I feel.

~I can't change how I feel.

~This is just the way I am. I've always been this way.

~She/He/They/It is just ______________ (fill the blank in with whatever!).

~I just can't see how he/she/they/that situation is ever going to change.

~It's always been that way, why should today be any different?

~I can't do that.

~Some things never change.

~I'm falling apart!


Or how about some more specific types of conclusions.......


~I can't lose weight no matter how hard I try.

~My job is stressful.

~No one appreciates what I do.

~I'm exhausted.

~I have pain.

~I can't afford that.

~They don't care.

~My kids are so selfish.

~The whole world has gone insane.


While many of the conclusions you've come to might be valid and warranted, you will continue to experience these things as long as you identify with these conclusions. If you want to move into a better experience then you'll have to let go of some of the statements and start opening yourself up to some "possibility" questions. Simply notice the conclusive statements you make and then switch them to powerful questions.


Examples: "I can't afford that" becomes "What if some avenue opened up where I could afford it?" or "The whole world has gone insane" becomes "What if there were some really great things going on in this world that I could find out about, and what if there are more great things than bad things?"


Your brain is always trying to solve problems, find answers, and seek evidence to back what you're focused on. When you ask questions rather than come to conclusions, you've now given your mind a job to do. It's going to seek out all the ways to validate your focus and answer your questions. When you give it only conclusions then it just accepts them and that's that. Nothing changes. This is one of the easiest ways to begin changing your mindset to get the results you're looking for. Unfortunately, many people would rather argue for their limitations and "be right" rather than be open to asking new questions and allowing for change.


 

ACTION STEPS:


  1. If there's an area of your life that you wish would improve, notice what conclusions you've come to in that area.

  2. Write these conclusive statements down.

  3. Change these into empowering questions that allow for new possibilities.

  4. Every time your mind goes back to the old conclusions remind it of the new question.

  5. Continue to practice. Repetition is what builds your new mental SKILLS.


*Remember: YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE.